Harmony

10 Things You Should Stop Complaining About at Work

Complaining is a nasty virus that can overtake the mind and ruin the mood of others in the room.  Complaining usually leads no where and often creates a feeling of "loser" towards the one doing the complaining.  It is not that you cannot stand up for yourself when work environments are intolerable, but really...in the United States!  Intolerable would take on a completely new definition if we lived in Haiti right now.

So let's establish perspective.  According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the nation’s unemployment rate is hovering around 10%. Even more troubling, The New York Times reports that unemployed people are spending longer periods between jobs. In December of 2008, only 22.9% of people were unemployed for 27 weeks or longer. A year later, in December of 2009, a whopping 37.8% of people were unemployed for 27 weeks or more. That means that nearly 40% of our nation’s unemployed are going without jobs for nearly seven months.

I found this list on the internet this morning.  I also am in a smart-alecky mood so don't take my statements too seriously.  Here are the 10 areas in which to stop complaining:

1.  Your salary.  Be appreciative you have a job and any kind of steady income. 

2.  Disappearing perks.  Companies have been forced to eliminate unnecessary expenses so they can stay afloat.  Perks cost a company money. 

3.  Your personal life.  Most people really don't want to spend great deals of time listening to your family troubles.  Find an appropriate time and place to share and pray with others. 

4.  Your workload.  Guess what.  Most everyone works hard and has stress.

5.  Lack of nearby food options.  That's what hot pockets are for!

6.  Your cube or office.  Space is costly to companies and so they attempt to maximize every sq. foot to get the most work done to generate revenue.

7.  Your temperature.  It is so difficult to have everyone happy on this one.  That's what clothing is for...bring an extra sweater or snuggy.

8.  Your boss/manager.  Most everyone struggles with the "one in charge".  If you were the boss, some people might even struggle with you!

9.  Your elusive promotion or raise.  Everyone would like to receive a step up in the company...more authority.  In this environment remember...it is good just to have a job.

10.  Your commute.  It is pointless to complain about the driving patterns of other people.  You cannot only control yourself.

Sacramental Prayer

Growing up in my particular religious community, sacrament was an underused phrase.  Sacrament is defined as a rite or object in which God is active.  Augustine of Hippo (I would have wanted to have that name changed) defines sacrament as "a visible sign of an invisible reality."  Christian tradition tends to look at sacraments as events done in a "church service" such as communion or baptism.  But a sacrament is much more than that.

God created sacraments all around to remind us of him.  His love and care.  His provision.  His protection.  Praying a sacramental prayer is opening our senses to all God has made for us to enjoy...the beauty of his creation.  The food he has provided.  The promise from the rainbow.  The memory of our baptism in a special place.

Psalm 96:12-13 reads "let the field exult, and everything in it!
Then shall all the trees of the forest sing for joy
 before the LORD, for he comes,
   for he comes to judge the earth.
He will judge the world in righteousness,
   and the peoples in his faithfulness."

Sometimes we think prayer is disconnecting from our world, and at times we may wish to do so for our own sanity.  However, God would like for us to see him in the cry of a child, the wrinkled face of maturity in an older person, the teen struggling to find God, the blowing of the wind, the flake of snow as it falls to the earth.  The sacraments of God to remind us of him.

C.S. Lewis wrote "there is no good trying to be more spiritual than God.  God never meant me to be a purely spiritual creature.  That is why he uses material things like bread and wine to put the new life into us.  We may think this rather crude and unspiritual.  God does not:  he invented eating.  He likes matter.  He invented it."

When God wanted to show Abraham his promise he took him outside and told him to look into the dark night and attempt to count the stars.  Abraham planted a tamarisk tree and called upon the Lord.  The tree was a reminder to Abraham of the call to God every time he laid eyes on it.  Sacraments.  Open your prayer life to a new realm of enjoyment and possibility...pray the sacraments of his creation.  Enjoy all of life that God has made for you.

A Groaning Prayer

There are seasons of life.  There are times when all is well and times when we are face down in the dirt.  And there are many variations between those two extremes.  The conversations on the streets in our community in North San Diego county have been about the tragic deaths of two teenage girls, Amber Dubois and Chelsea King.  Amber disappeared on Feb. 9, 2009 while on her way to school and her body was found last Saturday.  Chelsea was running around a local lake and disappeared to be found dead a few days later.

Parents, teens and many adults are groaning inwardly and outwardly.  For some it is a thick cloud that covers their movements.  For others, it is a heavy heart for the families and for our children.  For some questions arise to the heavens seeking answers to life's greatest dilemmas.  Since the early days of scripture the groaning has existed.  Adam and Eve had to ask themselves "why" when one son killed another.

Scripture teaches us that we live in a bent, fallen, maimed world.  When sin entered the picture of life by the choices of Adam and Eve, the perfect world God created turned on its head.  "The whole creation groans."  The promise of God is that one day he will straighten out the misshapen situation.  The promise of God is that we also have Jesus who is alive and active in our world - he has not finished his healing work.

Praying is all we can do.  Not for answers but groaning to God to communicate the pain and anguish.  Matt Woodley in his book The Folly of Prayer writes "prayer doesn't resolve the tension of living in a fallen world; it intensifies the ache.  Prayer makes us groan louder, not softer.  Groaning gets us in touch with the pain and the hope, the ache and the glory, the deep sadness and the nearly unbearable joy of life in a Christ-redeemed world."

So while the answers may not be clear, keep praying.  Keep groaning to God.  He hears.  He sees and he groans as well.  Keep asking what to do with the pain?  What to learn?  How to protect those you love?

Love does crazy things to us!

Falling in love.  Do you remember your first crush or love interest?  The secret notes being passed.  The phone calls and then hanging up. My oldest grandson had his first crush last summer.  He came to visit for a week and was head over hills gone over this young lady.  He was 13 almost 14 at the time.  His comment the other day in the car was "yeah...I thought I was in love."

Love does crazy things to us.  It changes our view of life.  It changes moods.  It alters direction.  It affects our mind.  Love changes us.

What is the driving force of your relationship with God?  Is it love, fear, responsibility?  What is the driving force of your relationship with God?  What does God want to be your reason to respond to him?  Does he want you to be afraid?  Does he want you to feel obligated because he's done so much?  Does he want you to respond out of love and gratitude?

The Apostle Paul seems to believe it is love and gratitude.  As he writes to the church in Galatia, he pens these words "the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself in love."  No one would have classified Paul as a dripping, sappy love sick person when it came to relationships.  His natural self was to be tough and demanding.  But when Jesus got hold of him, he fell in love with the Son of God for saving him from his sins and for setting him free from the bondage of rules, human standards, and regulations.  Jesus gave him a purpose for his life and he spent the remainder of his days living, breathing and telling others about his Savior.

God's love pursues us...everyday for all of our existence.  His love does not go away, fade or become disturbed by our behavior. He even loves me enough to let me go if I want.  He still will pursue through discipline, but he will allow me to make my own choices.

There is no greater cause of life.  There is no greater lover of my life and soul.  The daily dilemma of all mankind is to keep seeing God and his Son.  To open our eyes to his love, beauty, glory and magnificence.  That love will cast our fear.  That love will drive us towards him.  That love will give us peace and joy.

Take a look at God.  See who he is.  See what he has done.  See what he is doing.  Notice his love.  Fall in love with him again and again and again.

Which path to choose?

Human stories are replete with examples of people going about their daily events living as they please...making choices of various kinds. In reading the Bible I am often reminded of this reality that people often choose their own path.  We do "what is right in our own eyes" when it comes to accumulating wealth, parenting, marriage, entertainment and relationships.  The Kings of the Old Testament are a myriad of stories of people choosing their own path...some chose to follow the path of God and were blessed and others chose their own way and ended up in misery.

The life of God is not a life of ease.  It is not a life that is pain free.  The life of God calls on us to make tough choices to go against what I might naturally "feel" to live a life that God blesses.  There is a life that God blesses.  And that life is one made by choosing his way.  The life God blesses is full, rich, peaceful and rewarding

As God is painting the picture of those who did not pass the life choice test in order to enjoy the rewards of the blessed life, the list is stunning -   cowards, unbelieving, vile, murderers, sexually immoral people, practitioners of magic arts, idolaters, and liars.  We typically have categories of each of these.  We lock away the truly bad perpetrators in prison and the lesser continue to walk the streets.  Some of these are our neighbors and some are us.

The life of God is a rich and rewarding life, but it is a life of choices...difficult choices...deciding that the life of God is better and fuller than the life I naturally want to choose.

For you...how has your life been blessed by God by making God blessed choices?

Do a little pruning!

The front cover of the magazine read "This is your last issue."  My first reaction was to see if I had forgotten to pay for the renewal.  But as I opened the journal and begin to read, it became clear that this was the issue to be published.  The editorial began to fill in the details of what led to the decision to cease publication.  Sometimes even good things just need to stop if it no longer fulfills the intended purpose.

Those are hard decisions to make.  Some will not be happy that the magazine will no longer share inspirational articles...I am one of those people!  However, they have made the decision and I must live with it.  Again...it is not about me!

But the concept caused me to contemplate my own life and ask "is there anything I should stop so that something better might occur?"  That is what pruning is all about.  You cut back just the right amount of a tree, rose bush, or plant so that new growth may take place.  My gardener knows just the right amount to prune on our roses so that the beautiful flower blooms in the best possible way.

As 2010 rolls along I continue to evaluate my life and see what to prune or completely dig up and discard.  I go through the pruning routine quarterly so that roots don't grow too deep where they may cause damage.  Jesus often withdrew from people to keep himself well connected to His Father, and maintain proper focus on his true purpose.

So...what will you prune from your life?  And what do you hope to grow from the experience?

Helping or Hindering?

There are many things I am a part of.  I am a citizen of the United States of America.  I am proud to participate in the processes and procedures offered to me by my government.  I love our rich history...some of it good and some of it less than desirable.  I enjoy the benefits of commerce, roads, education, freedom and many other things I'm sure I take for granted.  If called upon I might even be willing to die for my country.

I am an Armstrong.  A Scottish descendant from a few hundred years back.  I love my family and all the benefits that come by being born into this family.  The family history is filled with individuals who made positive changes to their local society and some who brought shame to the cause of humankind.  If needed I would probably die for a family member.

I am a husband, father and grandfather.  I have my specific family line in which I attempt to play a positive significant role...not always, but it is an endeavor.  For these people I would most willingly chose to die if necessary.

But of all the roles and relationships I am a part of, there is no greater cause than being a part of the "Kingdom of God".  God is my King.  He is the controller of my world.  The sustainer of my life.  The provider of all I am and have.  He is the giver of salvation for my soul and life.  He is the forgiver of my sins.  For this relationship I give my life in practice and if called upon in death.

In God's Kingdom is his church...the family of believers I am a part of in a local community and worldwide.  I have the choice to hinder God's cause or I have the choice to help.  That reality is witnessed by my willingness or lack of in participating in the activities and events that bring about the spiritual formation of myself and others. 

One of the opportunities I have is to help share financially in the work of the local Kingdom.  The ministry areas of the local church require funding in order for spiritual formation to take place.  By contributing I am choosing to bless, help, and participate.  When I choose to withhold my offering, for whatever reason, I actually hinder the good ministry efforts.

Choices are often made by our value system.  My value system may say that entertainment is important and so spending money and time at a concert or movie is rarely questioned.  My value system may say that family time is a must and so whatever it takes to accomplish that goal will be undertaken.  For some, the importance of being a financial participant in the Kingdom of God is of high value and so contributing is never an issue.  Sacrifice will even be a part of that decision if necessary.

Helping or hindering the Kingdom of God...it does depend on me.  It is my choice. 

Helping Teens Cope with Tragedy

In the wake of the Amber Dubois and Chelsea King tragedy, it is important to help children and teens to cope with the situation and find healing.  In high school, one of my closest friends, skipped school one day to go swimming.  He jumped into the reservoir and never came up.  The loss was life-changing.  Obviously God and prayer are essential, but God also placed other healing tools into our world and so I'd like to suggest some positive ways to help children and teens deal with a senseless loss like Chelsea's.

1.  Let teens share their grief.  Telling them to be strong and not discuss the event only leads to more complex reactions that may reveal themselves at later times.  Teens have complex feelings during those formative years and being told to "be strong" does not help.  Mourning is a process given us by God.  Allow it to take place.  Give them consistent and compassionate support during this process.  In this sudden event, teens may face a more deep and intense sense of disorientation.

2.  Make sure they have support to discuss and share their thoughts and feelings.  Some teens may not have an adequate social circle for support and so parents and adults may need to step forward to provide what is lacking.

3.  Extra help may be needed.  Dr. Alan Wolfelt provides the following symptoms to watch for:

• symptoms of chronic depression, sleeping difficulties, restlessness and low self esteem
• academic failure or indifference to school-related activities
• deterioration of relationships with family and friends
• risk-taking behaviors such as drug and alcohol abuse, fighting, and sexual experimentation
• denying pain while at the same time acting overly strong or mature.

There are multiple opportunities for helping services.  Professional therapists, school counselors, church leaders who may be able to help parents and teens to work through their grieving process.  Don't be afraid to not know what to do and to reach out for others who have been trained in this arena.  Peer support groups are also an excellent opportunity to help a teen cope with their emotions.

3.  A proper adult response is necessary for healing.  Adults may have learned to cope with tragedy by being strong and tough, however a teen has not learned those coping mechanisms and will need to be able to express themselves and grieve.  Teens need to know it is alright to have emotions at times like this and that the feelings won't last forever.  If the emotions are ignored, teens may actually feel more alone and isolated.

4.  Understand the depth of the loss.  For a teen, a loss like this situation is shattering.  Dealing with grief is multifaceted.  Not all teens will react the same.  Grief is a normal expression of a love for a person or situation.  Teens do not choose between grieving and not grieving.  Help them with love and understanding.  God will use you in these moments to provide comfort and support.  There are no easy answers even from scripture for situations like the King's are experiencing, but God does comfort his children.

What's going on beneath the surface?

I've begun to read Jim Collins book, How the Mighty Fall.  Collins is a writer and researcher of companies.  Good ones.  Great ones.  Weak ones.  For years his organization has been involved in looking deeply into why and how companies find success.  His unbiased perspective is refreshing and insightful and anyone interested in understanding how to make a business successful will benefit from his writings.

In How the Mighty Fall, Collins evaluates many of the formerly great companies of US history and what led to their demise.  One of his statements however crosses lines from business to personal situations.  He writes "when the rhetoric of success ('We're successful because we do these successful things') replaces penetrating understanding and insight ('We're successful because we understand why we do these specific things and under what conditions they would no longer work'), decline will very likely follow."

Many times in life we experience less painful moments and all seems to be well with the world.  We often look at our life and perceive we are successful as a Christian, husband, wife, parent, child, business person, or friend because we are not experiencing tough moments.  We see what we are doing and forget to ask why.  We forget to evaluate the conditions of our moments.  We fail to realize that life is always changing.

For example, my parenting changes as my children grow older.  Some of what I did at the early stages of parenting may continue, but the way I handle a 2 year old is different than how I handle a 12 year old.  If I do not understand that conditions are always changing and adapt, then I am destined for tough times.  I can become too dependent on the "tried and true practices" but fail to see how conditions change and adapt my practices.  My relationship with my wife is ever changing.  The conditions change and unless my love and the way I demonstrate my love adapts, I am destined for failure.

Always be aware of the changing circumstances and conditions.  Be aware that what is seen is not always reality.  Collins gives a heartbreaking example in his book.  He and his wife are runners.  They were running up a mountain pass.  He became out of breath and his wife continued running.  He rounded a corner and saw her red jacket continuing to outpace him as she continued the run.  In a few months she would undergo a double mastectomy.  Neither of them knew that as she ran, looking like the picture of health, cancer was growing in her body.

That same reality can occur in every relationship of life, unless we probe beneath the surface and evaluate what is really going on...and change as necessary, we may find failure.  Our spiritual walk with God may seem to be strong, but how easy it is to slip back into disease and darkness.

A video perspective on suffering and cancer!

Dealing with difficult moments presents new challenges. Lynn Anderson for years has been a mentor from afar. I have learned a great deal from his preaching and perspective on life and now as he deals with cancer, I continue to learn. Watch this and be inspired to see God and life in a new way.