The headline read "How do I tell my long lost family to get lost?" I had to click on that statement to see the situation and the answer. The situation was heart wrenching. Verbal and emotional abuse. Putting kids up for adoption. Pain everywhere. And now, years later they want to reunite and forget everything. Some of those in pain have "forgotten" the bad moments and want everyone else to do the same.
Relationships can kill us and keep us. And there are many levels in between those two extremes. And there are times the same relationship can do both...kill and keep! Developing healthy relationships by establishing boundaries will hopefully create a deeper level of self-respect and respect for you by others. Jesus told Peter, "get behind me Satan". He was establishing a boundary that Peter had wrongfully crossed.
On a TV show the other night, the mother removed the computer from her teen sons room. He kept crying out, "it's not fair" and "you don't love me anymore." Her response was to redirect the conversation and establish healthy boundaries when she said "I love you. You are my child and being a parent means doing tough things even when it is not understood by you."
Communicate your thoughts and feelings when relationship moments erupt. Keep conversational tone at a respectful pitch. Respectfully set boundaries that don't allow others to communicate in disrespectful tones and words. Linda and I were out for a walk a few evenings ago, and heard a man yelling obscenities to someone. We ran over to the backyard fence and made sure no physical violence was taking place. The guy was in his 70's and yelling loudly in wild gestures and unbelievable language at his wife. That is a relationship that was killing at that moment.
When God's Spirit is alive in a person there are attributes and responses that bring about healthy relationships. Love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. When a life allows God deeply in, then relationships are more healthy and happy.
Comments