Harmony

Living a Life of Prayer

From time to time I am struck with the reality that at every moment one person is living in joy and peace, others live in heartbreak and devastation.  It is hard to remember that we do not simply live to ourselves, but are part of God's world...a much larger perspective that encompasses all of God's creation.  How do we live in both?

I do not believe God wants us to live everyday with a darkness of heart grieving over the pain of others, yet also not be blinded to what is going on in the lives of others.  Galatians 6 gives a 2 picture world.  "Carry each others burdens."  "Carry your own burdens."  It is not an either or.  It is a both and.

I can hurt for the parents of Chelsea King and those affected today by the earthquake in Chili.  I can feel the pain of the homeless man just released from prison, whom I met on Monday.  I can rejoice with my son over his new job and become excited over the upcoming births of those in my local church community. 

Somehow I must learn to live a life of prayer.  A life of prayer where I sing to God a song of praise for the good things, and a cry for those who suffer from various situations.  God sees both and is involved in the lives of all his children around the globe.  He is involved in the births of children arriving into his world and is involved in the pain of those who leave this world...and all those in between.

So...laugh and cry.  As the old writer said "there is a time to laugh and a time to mourn."  May each of us live in the joy of God and in the hurt of others.  May we learn to carry our own burdens and carry each others burdens.  May we pray with hearts rejoicing and pray with hearts that break.  May we open our eyes to see others from Gods global point of view.

Ask better questions!

There are questions that bring better answers. 

There are questions that often bring frustrations. 

There are questions that bring people closer in relationship. 

There are questions that drive people away.

Which ones do you ask?

Questions and answers will often depend on who you ask and when you ask. 

Asking God "why" often only brings frustration.  Asking God "what to do with what has come your way" is often a better question that can bring change.  Asking people "why" often brings frustration to both parties. 

Asking people "what do you think was going on in your life to bring about that choice" might open up conversations and deepen relationships.

Trusting God and others will bring about more peace and fewer questions.  A lack of trust in God's plan and a lack of trust in other people will drive us to ask more questions that lead to increased frustration.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and God will direct your paths."  Proverbs 3:5-6

Snipits from the Health Care Summit

In case you could not stay awake during the 7.5 hour televised summit, MSNBC gives the following notable quotes from today's Health Care Summit.  You can find more at the following link: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35585513/ns/politics/?ns=politics

"This is a car that can't be recalled and fixed and ... we ought to start over." — Sen. Lamar Alexander, R-Tenn.   

"We want you to succeed, because if you succeed, our country succeeds," — Sen. Lamar Alexander, R-Tenn.

“Rather than start at the outset talking about legislative process and what’s going to happen in the Senate and the House and this and that… let’s talk about the substance: How we might help the American people deal with costs, coverage, insurance, these other issues. And we might surprise ourselves and find out that we agree more than disagree. And that would then help to dictate how we move forward. It may turn out on the other hand there’s just too big of a gulf.” — President Obama

"We all agree on prohibiting insurance companies from arbitrarily canceling insurance policies. That's a no-brainer. There's strong agreement on both sides of the aisle." — Rep. Charles Boustany, R-La.

“This will take courage to do.” — House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif.

A ‘broken’ system – and bankruptcy ahead
"Right now, it's projected that premiums for families with health insurance -- not people without health insurance, but with health insurance -- will almost certainly double over the next decade, just as they doubled over the past decade.” — President Obama

“If all we’re doing is adding more people to a broken system then costs will continue to skyrocket, and eventually somebody is going to be bankrupt, whether it’s the federal government, state governments, businesses or individual families." — President Obama

“In 2008, about 750,000 bankruptcies were filed. About 70 percent of those bankruptcies were filed because of health care costs. Eighty percent of the people who filed for bankruptcy because of health care costs had health insurance. America is the only country in the world where if you get sick or hurt, you’re going to have file for bankruptcy.” — Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid

“Everybody here understands the desperation that people feel when they're sick. And I think everybody here is profoundly sympathetic and wants to make sure that we have a system that works for all Americans,” — Obama

The costs of action or inaction
"I even have one constituent -- you will not believe this, and I know you won't, but it's true -- her sister died. This poor woman had no dentures. She wore her dead sister's teeth, which of course were uncomfortable and did not fit." — Rep. Louise Slaughter, D-N.Y.

"Harvard just completed a study that shows 45,000 Americans die every year because they don't have health insurance, almost 1,000 a week in America." — Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid

"We can't afford this. That is the ultimate problem here." — Rep. Eric Cantor, R-Va.

Whom do you trust?
“There are [consumer protections] in every state…. Do we distrust our governors? Do we distrust our state legislatures?.... Should people in Washington decide exactly how this works and what [insurance] you can and cannot buy?” — Rep. Paul Ryan, R-Wis.

7 Stinkiest Cities in the U.S.

According to George Petri, Ph.D. of the Monell Chemical Senses Center here are the 7 Stinkiest Cities in the United States...drum roll please:

7.  Yuma, AZ

6.  San Antonio, TX

5.  New Orleans, LA

4.  Chicago, IL

3.  Phoenix, AZ

2.  Houston, TX

1.  Las Vegas, NV

If you'd like to read further this aromatic article here is the link: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/35584057/ns/today-today_health?GT1=43001

"How do I tell my long lost family to get lost?"

The headline read "How do I tell my long lost family to get lost?"  I had to click on that statement to see the situation and the answer.  The situation was heart wrenching.  Verbal and emotional abuse.  Putting kids up for adoption.  Pain everywhere.  And now, years later they want to reunite and forget everything.  Some of those in pain have "forgotten" the bad moments and want everyone else to do the same.

Relationships can kill us and keep us.  And there are many levels in between those two extremes.  And there are times the same relationship can do both...kill and keep!  Developing healthy relationships by establishing boundaries will hopefully create a deeper level of self-respect and respect for you by others.  Jesus told Peter, "get behind me Satan".  He was establishing a boundary that Peter had wrongfully crossed.

On a TV show the other night, the mother removed the computer from her teen sons room. He kept crying out, "it's not fair" and "you don't love me anymore."  Her response was to redirect the conversation and establish healthy boundaries when she said "I love you.  You are my child and being a parent means doing tough things even when it is not understood by you."

Communicate your thoughts and feelings when relationship moments erupt.  Keep conversational tone at a respectful pitch.  Respectfully set boundaries that don't allow others to communicate in disrespectful tones and words.  Linda and I were out for a walk a few evenings ago, and heard a man yelling obscenities to someone.  We ran over to the backyard fence and made sure no physical violence was taking place.  The guy was in his 70's and yelling loudly in wild gestures and unbelievable language at his wife.  That is a relationship that was killing at that moment.

When God's Spirit is alive in a person there are attributes and responses that bring about healthy relationships.  Love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  When a life allows God deeply in, then relationships are more healthy and happy.

The Importance of Leaders

I just finished a paper of the significance of the leader-follower relationship.  I have seen great leaders and poor leaders.  I have seen great followers and poor followers.  I currently work with an exceptional leader and good team of followers.  Leaders are important.  Read below to understand more clearly the importance of leaders.

 

“You are a leader only if you have followers” writes Daniels and Daniels.  The relationship between the two is inseparable and both play vital roles in all organizations.  You do not have followers without leaders and leaders need followers to perform their tasks effectively in order for the leader to be successful.  Regardless of the type of organization, both work together to bring about effectiveness or disaster.  If a leader is difficult to work with then followers most often will not rise to their highest level of performance.  If a follower does not do their job it creates problems in an organization, then a leader must make choices on what to do to motivate or change the behavior of the employee or volunteer.

 

Eddie Greer writes “trust is the glue of leadership.  Without trust, a leader will have no followers.”  In order for a leader to be at his or her best, trust must be built and established.  Greer continues “trust is…when a person is honest, courteous and considerate, has integrity and does as promised – in other words, walks the talk…enough so that mistakes made do not erode trust.”

 

There are many techniques a leader may use to grow and develop the leader-follower relationship.  The first is trustworthiness.  When a leader is trustworthy, according to Greer  “we work better and more productively with peers and bosses…we can openly offer differing opinions without fear of reprisal.”   Trust allows followers to listen more to a leader.

 

Another technique to grow the leader-follower relationship is modeling.  When a leader models the behavior and attitude desired in the workplace, then followers will most often line up in the same direction.  In this, the leader is creating a culture of what is acceptable and unacceptable on the job, many times, without having to articulate the expectations.  Modeling provides followers with an unspoken mode of acceptable behavior.

 

A third technique to grow the leader-follower relationship is motivation.  Greer writes “motivation is generated internally.  A leader merely taps into its power.  When a leader communicates his trust in and respect for followers’ ability to perform a given task, their internal motivation takes over and drives the followers to succeed in their assignments.”   If a leader does not believe and trust the followers then people will do minimal work, defensive and careful about being watched, thus destroying the relationship.

 

A fourth technique to grow the leader-follower relationship is effectiveness in the job by the leader.  When a leaders decisions are proved correct then the trust grows and the loyalty of the follower is enhanced, thus increasing their willing to risk even more in their work and devotion.  When a leader makes mistakes, there must be a willingness to humbly admit the error in judgment and reset a new direction.  If a leader is unwilling to deal honestly with mistakes, then a perception of arrogance and fear of the future will begin to rise.

 

A fifth technique to grow the leader-follower relationship is taking the time to build relationships from the leader towards the follower.  In most organizations there is a natural wall between the one in charge and followers.  Followers wish to cross over the holy threshold to be a part of that world.  If a leader welcomes them across and provides an open door environment then followers will feel the leader cares about them personally.  Everyone in an organization does not just arrive on the job to do their work.  Each person has a life which could consist in a marriage, family, children, parents, economic situations and political viewpoints.  When a leader and follower can have relational conversations and cross over into the others non-work life then greater loyalty will exist.

 

When leaders and followers work in tandem a positive work culture is created for others to see.  More people will desire to be a part of that workplace.  Fewer turnovers will take place and the motivation to work will not simply be about economics.  Employee motivation will rise to be a part of a successful organization as they realize they are indispensable.  When decisions need to be made, the strategic discussions will be more participative as followers realize their input is important and knowing they have “skin in the game.”

Sleeping in the Storm!

When challenges in life arise from nowhere, our minds immediately begin to process the event and attempt to work out a plan of attack.  Much like the cells of our body that identify disease or an unwanted presence, they rush to attack or contain the infection...our minds do the same.  At times the event is prolonged, lasting much longer than is comfortable.  The economic situation does not end.  The health problem does not disappear.  The relationship is not healed.  So what do we do?

I've had those kind of desert experiences in my life.  Times in which the event has lasted for years and the mind seems to find no rest from dealing with and maneuvering through the dry terrain.  The mental roadblock keeps complete peace at bay.  We almost have to be satisfied that the battle will rage on and continue pelting God with prayers for relief.

God is not far away at those moments.  The lack of complete relief does not mean God does not care of is absent.  We many never know why the issue does not fade or disappear.  Paul understood when he could find no relief from his "thorn in the flesh", that God communicated "my grace is sufficient for you."

His grace is sufficient.  More than enough to provide the needed respite from anxiety.  More than enough to give peace in the storm.  It may not be what we want, but for whatever reason it is what he provides.  Even Jesus in his agonizing prayers in the Garden did not find relief from the Father, but found peace and love in the reality that he still had to go to the cross.  There was a bigger picture...a larger scheme...a reason.

May we rest in God, regardless of the event.  The deserts.  The storms.  He is good!  David wrote in Psalm 18:16 "He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters."

Anchors of Promises from God

Maintaining perspective is important at all times, especially when life presents challenges.  In my research on leadership for my current graduate class, keeping one's eyes on the target is essential for stability and clear direction when life throws you a curve ball.  Here are some verses from scripture to which you may anchor your life when the seas billow.

Psalm 11:4-7 "The Lord is in his holy temple, the Lord is on his heavenly throne.  He observes the sons of men, his eyes examine them...upright men will see his face"

Psalm 10:17-18 "You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed, in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more."

Psalm 16:7-8 "I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.  I have set the Lord always before me, because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."

Psalm 18:2 "The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.  He is my shield and the horn or my salvation, my stronghold."

Psalm 23:1 "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want."

Psalm 27:1 "The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?"

Psalm 28:6-7 "Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy.  The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.  My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song."

On what other promises of God do you anchor your soul?

Confession and Forgiveness are Difficult!

In watching the news events of the past few days, I am reminded of how difficult it is to confess as well as to forgive.  Whether it is Tiger or the man angry with the IRS, it is tough to deal with sin or personal struggles.  Rebuilding trust is a long road, but we must remember we are all in the same boat.  So, read the story below and may this Biblical encounter remind us to forgive.

They could not have been more opposite.  He owned a home.  She wrecked homes.  He invited people in.  She invited men to a hotel.  He spent lavishly on meals.  She gave her body to make money for meals.  He had a religious degree.  She was from the school of hard knocks.  He slept in his own bed.  She slept in other men's beds.

If you were to ask anyone in town who was more right with God...hands down, he had the vote.

He invited Jesus to dinner with other guests.  Slipping in past the guards was the woman of the streets.  She immediately went to Jesus.  She fell to the ground at his feet.  Her flood of tears soaked his feet.  Her hair became a towel.  She wiped clean the dust from his tired feet.  The host of the evening, Simon, was looking around for a way to remove her, but she stayed. 

She anointed his feet with an oil that probably cost several nights work.  Simon's thoughts should have never entered his head...Jesus heard the harshness of the judgments. 

Then Jesus turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet."

"Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much."

"But he who has been forgiven little loves little."

In order to begin to experience a love that never quits we must first recognize how much we have been forgiven. 

That is your "God Story".  How much has he forgiven you?  Remember that reality as you interact with others.  It will make a difference.

Sacrifice and Love...how do they go together?

I've heard for years..."we are willing to sacrifice in direct proportion to our love."  Most of us don't readily think of love as a sacrifice.  Our concept of love is giving and receiving.  So where does sacrifice come into the picture?

In the giving and receiving, there is sacrifice.  At times there is little sacrifice required.  At other times there is a great amount of sacrifice required.  The deeper the love the greater the amount of willingness to sacrifice.

What relationships do you have where sacrifice is natural and almost unnoticed?  If you are a parent, you see this immediately.  I watch new parents holding their children and recognize the sacrifice.  This is their son or daughter.  The child truly can give nothing to the parents...barely can communicate, but the love from the parent to the child is full of sacrificial love.  Waking up when the cries begin.  Trips to the doctor when the cough persists.  Money into the college savings fund, long before the child knows what college means.  Sacrifice is easy when the love is deep.

Where sacrifice becomes more difficult and challenging is when we feel unappreciated or that the sacrifice is unnoticed.  I think of the couples who experience debilitating disease or injury where love cannot be returned in "normal" ways.  For example:  the husband who stands beside a wife who cannot respond due to cancer.  Sacrifice at those times is difficult.

The most difficult type of sacrifice is to love when no love is returned.  That is the sacrifice and love demonstrated by Jesus.  He went to a cross to die for all of us...sinners who did not recognize him.  He died for us while we were as ungodly as possible, knowing that the sacrifice would touch some to respond in love.

That is our daily choice.  To see the sacrifice and love.  To love and sacrifice in return to him.  To love and sacrifice as we are in relationship with his other children.  So when you struggle with willingness to sacrifice, remember Jesus.  The ultimate sacrificial lamb.