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The Damage of Sexting! Part 2

Every generation faces challenges in raising children and attempting to provide godly, moral and ethical guidance for their children.  My parents dealt with the influence of "hippies", drugs, and more publicly noticed sexual escapades.  Drinking and sex between unmarried people have been happening since Biblical days...it was simply more spoken of in the news.  Today, the information super highway provides us with instant access to what is going on in the world.

Today's parents face the challenges of camera phones, texting, and internet availability.  Yesterday I wrote about protecting our children from the dangers of sexting.  Some of you shared your perspective via facebook and commenting to the blog.  Some shared other information about this sexting and the dangers teens face.

Again, leaving aside the moral and ethical issues, the ramifications are tremendous.  Teens reputations and social standing are ruined.  Some now have records as they are labeled as sex offenders.  A minor who takes a picture, anyone who receives and forwards a picture are able to be arrested and face time for participating in the sexting.

Some teens have even taken their own life because of the emotional damage by sexting.  Parents cannot close their eyes to what is going on.  Younger and younger children are now being given cell phones with all the gadgetry to participate in sexting.  Parents cannot simply block their children's access, but must communicate and provide guidance so that children learn to make good decisions with this new access to communication and information.

Watch the following YouTube video for a peak at a Mother's heartbreak over her daughters suicide from a sexting going public.

Protection from Sexting?

Being as old as I am, I have a difficult time remembering my teen years.  Many of the emotions and feelings of those years have been blocked or erased...not sure exactly why but they are.  Being a grandfather and recently spending time with my 14 year old grandson, I heard what it is like living in his skin, in his time.  He spoke about school and the challenges of dealing with teachers, adults and kids his own age.  So I have been more keenly aware of what it is like to grow up in 2010, which in many ways is very different than growing up in the early 70's. 

The teen years are filled with learning to make decisions, struggling with relationships that now include friendships with the opposite sex...hormones raging and zits.  In 2010 there is a new phenomenon going on that I did not have to deal with...sexting and internet pornography.

CNN reported today on a teenager who is now considered a criminal because of his participation in sexting.  Sexting is the sending and receiving of nude pictures via text message.  There is no law to deal directly with this situation and violators are seen as a child pornographer.  CBS legal analyst Lisa Bloom reported "this is a serious felony.  They could be facing many years in prison."

Besides the legal and moral issues, teens are learning to deal with their emotions and self-esteem.  The old game of establishing privacy from parents and doing what they don't want you to do is part of the challenge.  What teens don't understand is that these pictures are easily forwarded to others and their privacy violated.  These pictures rarely go away and could resurface at the most inopportune times in the future.

A funny picture or a flirty message on your phone may seem innocent enough, but what is your teen really saying when they send a text.  "Teenagers are having sex by the phone, sending flirty messages, meeting up to have sex," says 16 year old Rochellie Garcia.  She continues "All you gotta do is take it and send it out, thinking it's funny but the boys you're sending it to can take it and put it on MySpace or put it somewhere where everyone can see it."

Former 2008 American Idol hopeful Colin Leahy made national news when he was arrested for sending sexually explicit text messages to a 12 year old boy. Teens need to be aware of the situation, and prepared to report it.

Parents have a wonderful opportunity to help their children grow through this era of their lives.  Speak openly to your teens about what is going on.  Ask them questions.  Examine their phone and look at their pictures and text messages.  If they don't like it...sorry.  That is what being a parent is all about...protecting your children from themselves.

Who is to blame for the financial crisis?

Accepting personal responsibility is difficult to do.  Time Magazine issued a list of the top 25 people to blame for the financial crisis.  The list was was interesting to read.  Financial wizards.  Government leaders including 2 Presidents.  A Fed Chair. SEC Chair.  And then there's the American people.

Some of these top 25 were willing to admit errors in judgment.  Alan Greenspan has since admitted that his avid deregulation stance was somewhat of a "mistake."  Many of the top 25 won't be honest or realistic enough to confess their responsibility.  Why?  Why do we have such a difficult time admitting we were wrong in our judgment.

Pride gets in the way.  It is difficult for many of us to drop the guard and allow confession to pour forth.  "It's not my fault!"  "Things happen!"  Since the Garden of Eden, the finger pointing has taken place...even to the point of blaming God:  "the woman you gave me...it was her fault."

We see it in our children and we attempt to break their pride by reminding them to accept personal responsibility.  When we allow them to accept the responsibility of their mistakes then we teach effectively.  When people are rescued by others and not made to face their damage, no one wins...no one learns.  No one grows.

In the matter of the financial crisis affecting most of us, it does not help to blame Senator Phil Gramm, Angelo Mozilo, Alan Greenspan, Christopher Cox, Hank Paulson, Joe Cassaano, Bill Clinton or George Bush.  I should always begin with me.  Have I caused my own problem by overspending, going into debt, living "high on the hog," and leaving God out of my plans.  Yes, some people are victims of others mistakes.  For those who suffer because of the mistakes of others, God understands and cares, but still asks "what will you do now?"

For most of us, the question still is "am I accepting personal responsibility for my actions, thoughts and words?"  Don't let Satan get a foothold in your life, by allowing pride to envelope your heart.  Accept personal responsibility.


To read more of the top 25 from Time click the link below: http://www.nydailynews.com/money/toplists/time_magazines_25_people_to_blame_for_the_financial_crisis/time_magazines_25_people_to_blame_for_the_financial_crisis.html#ixzz0jazD3Fiq

Be Inspired: "No arms. No legs. No worries"

You are a Genius!

The book begins "You are a genius.  If a genius is someone with exceptional abilities and the insight to find the not so obvious solution to a problem, you don't need to win a Nobel Prize to be one.  A genius looks at something that others are stuck on and gets the world unstuck.  No one is a genius all the time.  Einstein had trouble finding his house when he walked home from work every day.  But all of us are geniuses sometimes."  Those words are from the book Linchpin by Seth Godin.

My heart raced as I read those words.  They came from a man, but I believe were straight from God.  God might have used a different word than genius, but to us, the word  "genius" has great imagery and significance.

We so often are told that we have to act in certain ways and live in a particular manner before we are acceptable.  We try to get every one to fit into a particular box in order to be satisfactory.  God created us in his image, so we are creators, inventors, lovers of people, kind, compassionate children of the king.  We can become so much more than we are.  I'm not saying we can just believe in ourselves and then accomplish more.  I am communicating that God has placed inside of us of us more than we are experiencing for His glory!

Marriages can be so much more than they are.  The parenting experience can lift our children higher and be less tedious and tiring.  Work can become so much more enjoyable as we live to the potential God placed in us.  Being "average" will no longer be acceptable as we reach to live to the glory of our God in heaven.

How much more could believers in Jesus be changed if we only believed in what God made us to be and enjoy?  How much more could we experience and share?  It is not about changing the world to be a better place...it is about US being changed so that we can experience the full life of God and then share that life by amazing others around us with an uncommon life.

Believe the truth of our God who loved you so much that he gave his one and only Son for you.  See yourself as that child and then live out HIS life for his glory.

Stop the Violence and Threats!

I continue to be astounded at the childish responses to the political battles going on in Washington.  I'm not referring to those in politics.  I'm referencing the talk show host encouraging violence against those of an opposing party...including threats against the family members.  This sounds like something that happens in Middle School and not even Middle School was this bad.

I can appreciate not liking what government does.  I can appreciate protests.  I can appreciate emails, letters, blog posts and the like, but calling on people to act violently is atrocious.  Where I am truly astounded is with those who would actually act on the suggestions of others.  Have we lost our minds that we would follow the absurd advice of someone else?

Stand up for your rights.  Fight with emotion for what you believe in.  Picket.  March.  But threatening another person crosses the line.  This issue goes much farther than the current situation going on today against politicians and their families.  This issue touches the way we respond to each other on the job, in marriages, and in our homes.

I referred a few weeks ago to a situation one evening when my wife and I were out walking in the evening about the time the sun was setting.  We heard a man yelling, screaming, with anger and language that would make a sailor squirm...at his wife.  It wasn't a young couple.  These people were in their 70's and the man was verbally abusing his wife.  I guess he felt he had the right.  We watched to be sure no physical violence occurred, but were astounded at the verbal assault. 

He did not have the right.  None of us do.  Those who oppose us on the job or in politics are people made in the image of God.  My wife and children are people made in the image of God.  God calls on me to demonstrate respect in my conversations and actions.  He NEVER gives me permission to verbally batter.  When those emotions well up to want to demonstrate our utter frustration with another, may  we recall our God and his response with us..."while we were yet sinners, Christ died for the us."

American rights vs. Acting Godly

Where do our rights as Americans stop and the higher calling of God begin?  Or do both go hand in hand?  This is not an easy line to define, nor does it avoid the emotional arguments of those who feel strongly about citizen right violations.  I want to challenge believers in God to evaluate thoughts, words and actions as we are confronted with adverse situations.

Ann Coulter was asked to cancel her speech at Ottawa University to protect her from harm as students were protesting her presence on the campus.  According to MSNBC "A spokesman for the organizers said Coulter was advised against appearing after about 2,000 'threatening' students crowded the entrance to Marion Hall, posing a security threat.  'It would be physically dangerous for Ann Coulter to proceed with this event,' said conservative political activist Ezra Levant inside the hall. This is an embarrassing day for the University of Ottawa and their student body . . . who chose to silence her through threats and intimidation.'"

Protesters picketed outside the capital earlier this week against the health care reform bill.  Bumper stickers share political views.  Emails and blog sites allow us to write and say almost anything that is on our minds.  I may have the right as an American, but as a Christian...heart transformed by God...when do I need to forgo my American rights so that my Godly character is seen?  You may like or dislike Ann.  You may like or dislike Democrats or Republicans.  You may like or dislike wars.  The question I ask is not addressing the specifics, but asking us to step back and view the world from God's point of view.

I throw the question out there for each of us to wrestle with.  If you were to remove the emotion of most situations we know exactly what the answer is.  But when the temperature rises, logic often becomes clouded.

So what is your answer to the question?

The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

I remember reading to my children the story of Chicken Little and his panicked cry that the sky is falling when it was an acorn falling on his hear! There are different versions of this story but the one I am referring to is where Chicken Little saw life from a particular point of view that led him to have no rest or sleep.  There was a problem, but the end of the world was not happening before his very eyes.

It is easy to read the paper, scan the web articles, talk with a few people and feel "the sky is falling".  We read about Health Care Reform, volcanoes in Iceland, earthquakes in Chili, outbreaks of diseases, marriages falling apart, children going wild and want to run for cover.  Perspective is tough when you are the one facing the issues.

Being cynical is easy.  Having the perspective that everyone is having a problem...everyone is out of work.  All marriages are bad and the nations going to be destroyed.  Seeing God in the mess is much more challenging but important for his people.  As believers in the Creator of the universe, we have the opportunity to cast a different vision.  As husbands and wives, we have the chance to help our spouse to lift their eyes and see God.  As parents, we have the daily role of giving our children a different picture of life that is not centered on their own world and life.

It is not that problems are going to disappear, but seeing God through the problems is vital to our spiritual health.  The world Jesus entered was being run by an evil Roman empire, but he still was able to give people hope.  He encountered  numerous people who were ill, in trouble, facing death and still he gave them life.

Jesus is our answer.  We hope in him.  The sky is not falling.  God is still on the throne and in our hearts.  As Easter approaches, the story is that Jesus overcame death and the grave by the power of God.  Our greatest enemy has been conquered.  May all Christians give an example to the world that the sky is not falling.  May our conversations give people hope, not in our country or society but in our God.

Polarized on health care!

The health care debate has created a polarized response from many segments of society.  There appear to be few neutral thoughts.  Most are at one end or the other.  And the emotions run deep.  If you're out of work, cannot afford insurance, or your employer does not provide health insurance then a personal perspective seems to be a "yeah" for this effort.  If you are working, an employer, or are sacrificing to pay for your own insurance coverage then a perspective may be "no" to this decision.

The arguments run deep and with a great amount of passion.  The praise or disgust arrive from all age groups, socioeconomic realms, and political parties.  The question seems to be: what should the citizens expect of a government?  And that question is completely personal.  I pay taxes in various forms.  Every time I spend money I pay a tax.  Every time I put gas in my car, I pay a tax.  When I purchase a home I pay property tax.  A car continues to have a tax every year to register a car even though I paid tax at the time of purchase.  There is a state tax, federal tax, local tax and on and on it goes.  I've probably missed a few I'm not even aware of.

So when I pay money I do expect something in return.  I have a "right" to want my government to spend my money wisely and that I should receive some benefit from my "contribution" to the system.  So on what should the government spend my money?

During the war for independence, the government refused to tax the people to support the army George Washington led.  Mr. Washington would appeal to the Continental Congress for funds and they turned him down.  Mr. Washington then appealed to each of the colonies for funds and received some funding...not enough to adequately cloth or feed his men, but somehow he still won the war to give us our independence.  The Continental Congress was very cautious to tax.

There is no easy answer to this question or dilemma.  I do know my own perspective is that our local, state, and federal governments have very different views of how and where to spend my tax dollars.  And so they set in place a government of representatives to stand for those in that voting district.  And so I get to live with the decisions they make.

The larger question for me as a child of God is this:  Who will really take care of me?  The only real answer is God.  So I will vote and do my part, but my alliance is with the Creator of the Universe.  Daniel had the Babylonians.  Jesus had the Roman Empire.  Christians survived the Nazi regime.  Governments will do things we do not agree with.  Our frustration may peak, but God stands with us. He will never leave us or forsake us.  

Pray for our leaders.  Vote and make changes where you can.  But lean of God who will never let you down.

Dangers to avoid when helping others!

There are some dangers in choosing to be a part of restoring someone to emotional and spiritual health.   One of the dangers for the one trapped is to confess your sin or emotional struggles with someone who is emotionally and spiritually unhealthy.  An emotionally healthy person is secure in God.  That person does not have to find their importance by having to let others know the secrets of another’s life.  As the old sage said: “choose wisely”.  Find someone who is going to listen, care, and provide a safe place where you can share the heavy burden you are carrying.  Find someone who will listen and not judge.  Are they helping for the correct reason or to fill a void or need in their own life.

 

A danger for the rescuer is to gently restore.  Gently restoring means caring for someone over an extended period of time.   It is like a skillful physician who sets a broken bone and is there during the healing process.  Restoring a person who has found themselves trapped in sin or overwhelmed by a burden is not a short term relationship.  It is often a several weeks, months, or maybe years relationship.  Harshness disappears.

 

A gentle restoration is not judging, pointing fingers, asking “how did you get yourself into this situation”.  It is not making them feel bad for where they are, realizing that you yourself are also a sinner.  Superiority goes out the window.  Watch yourself or you may be tempted.  The restorer remains humble in the process of burden bearing.

 

Restoring does not mean taking over another person’s life and direction….telling them what to do and setting rules for them in the process.  God gave each person an amazing mind to process their own dilemma and to figure out what to do to not end up back in the same place.  By asking questions to a person in trouble provides a place for the mind to process the situation and God to provide the answers.  This is a danger in some discipling relationships where an unhealthy guidance keeps a person from learning to walk on their own.  This is the struggle many parents face in raising their children.  Parents don’t want their child to have to deal with problems or struggle and so they actually cripple their child’s emotional and spiritual health by rescuing them out of problems and situations.  Growing in the fruit of the Spirit is facing challenges and learning from those difficulties how to let God take control.

 

Bearing others burdens does not mean I am now responsible for their decisions and choices.  The one who you are helping is still growing in their relationship with God and they are still responsible for their own actions.  I must carry my own load meaning I am still responsible to God for my choices and life as I walk in the Spirit.  Some who need help will place the responsibility on the helper for providing for them without them having any effort in the process.  So the danger is to not rescue a person by being responsible for another’s feelings, thoughts, actions and choices.

 

The goal is to restore them to emotional and spiritual health so the growing process in the Spirit is able to be continued with minimal distractions.  By keeping the end result in mind, many of the dangers are able to be avoided.  Dangers begin to take place when sub-objectives begin to replace God’s ultimate purpose in provided a burden bearing relationship.