Marilyn Monroe was the star of a movie popularizing the 7 year itch in marriage when husbands or wives look for greener pastures in relationships. Statistics now show the itch occurs 12 years into the marriage. So if you thought you were comfortable because you made it past 7, watch out!
There may be statistics that point to a time when many couples begin to wander and stray, but I've been around long enough to have seen marriages a few weeks old, few years old, 25 years together and longer calling it quits. It is not the years, it is the willingness to challenge yourself personally throughout the course of marriage to grow and develop.
God designed marriage to be 2 individuals (man and woman) to unite themselves together into a new relationship. He did not design marriage to be easy, in fact marriage is the place your faults most quickly rise to the surface. It is the easiest response in the world to blame your spouse for a failed marriage, for making your life miserable, for breaking your heart. God's plan was for each individual in the relationship to continue self development in their relationship with God.
We are so good at blaming. The church let me down. The preacher wasn't inspirational enough. The worship didn't meet my needs. The youth or children's program didn't teach my children enough.
We blame the school system. The teacher didn't challenge my child or spend enough time with them. The state didn't give them the right textbooks. There were too many kids in the class.
We blame the spouse. My spouse wasn't godly enough. He wouldn't pray with me. She wouldn't initiate sex often enough. She didn't cook the meals the way I like them. He didn't save enough money. He didn't encourage me. She was always so critical.
Problems are difficult. Issues are real. Challenges are large. But what am I going to do about it. Moses walked for 40 years basically alone...just he and God. Daniel had no friends to help him along. Joseph lived with the memory of brothers who had sold him as a slave. They each took personal responsibility for their walk with God and life.
It is not a 7 or 12 year itch. Marriage problems are real, but putting the pressure and responsibility on your spouse to be perfect and "complete you" is beyond reality. Take the initiation to grow in a relationship with God and that will change your partner and your marriage. Take the necessary stops to become emotionally healthy, set boundaries, and enjoy the journey with God. And if both partners work individually towards God the marriage will be successful and long. In the words of the gentleman who started the Men's Warehouse, "I guarantee it."
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