In my previous life (before divorce), when I first was married, money struggles were the norm. There were always more wants than cash. We began married life while I was still in college. I had my last 2 years remaining. She was working full-time and in 1978 she earned about $480 per month. Rent was $125 for a 700 sq. foot duplex on campus. School was paid for in cash as the price per quarter hour was around $35. We had no credit cards, car loans. And still it was tight.
Soon I landed a job as a weekend Youth Minster at a little church 40 miles away. We doubled our take home when I brought home $100 per weekend. We were living the high life. Soon we bought a TV, car and things got wild. The bills continued to pile up and the "free" money disappeared. I had a hard time saying no to her wants and even my wants.
More money was always needed and happiness was never achieved. Contentment was elusive. God was active in my world, but I'd never been taught or trained how to manage money (or I never listened). The strains and stress brought on by these financial disasters compounded marriage communication.
Handling money is a breeze compared to handling desires and wants. A budget helps but both spouses must be willing to align their desires with each other in line with their budget realities. When debt is limited or avoided, by controlling spending, then marital communication is more easily achieved. It is not an easy task to accomplish, but it is possible. Talk, compromise and a deep love for God can move a marriage out of conflict to peace.
If you struggle with handling money and marital conflict naturally following, seek wise counsel from other couples who have successfully navigated this tough stream. The Bible is replete with verses that emphasis aligning desires with God's plan...letting him be the source of our hearts desire.
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